From tim Wed Aug 19 17:34:37 1998
Date: Tue, 04 Nov 1997 19:32:52 -0500
To: Nobody
Subject: Must eat brains...

I was sitting home last night after doing my stuff, numbing myself with the two most popular anesthetics available to Americans, television and beer, when, of all things, a TV commercial tried to remind me that "thinking is good." Fortunately for my sanity, the irony was not lost on me. Unfortunately for my self-esteem, I neither stopped drinking nor turned off the TV. A few minutes later I noticed the HUGE stack of unread copies of The Economist sitting on my toilet tank and thought to myself,

"That there is a stack of History; a stack of History gracing the back of my toilet. Someday, god/gods/nature/whatever be willing, I will find myself raising children, and these children may someday learn in school about the Great Crash of 1997, the Campaign Finance scandal of the Clinton years, the hand-over of Hong Kong to China, the tragic death of a princess... When this happens I will be prepared for the questions. I will have these magazines with *today's* perspective. I may think this is my life, but it is not. Today *is* history. Am I wasting it?"

I thought of the previous night's broadcast of "Babylon 5." I thought of the ultimate grandeur of History and of the implication that we, as individuals, as groups and as a whole, guide this juggernaut and was awed. As I shook off the last few drops I had this final thought,

"This is how I end up carting tons of useless shit from apartment to apartment."