Why we should feel sorry for tech support people:

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows."
The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door.  
But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me 
is under a window, and his is working fine."


Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?"
Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and
she downloaded ten hours of free space.  Is that enough?"


Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at 
the same time.  That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"


Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"


I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document 
back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed 
to keep it.


Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"


Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to
"The Internet."


Customer: "So that will get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."


Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows-because of the icons-
I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir.  I don't
believe it was meant to-"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'.  I don't
believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of 
a file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: [click]


Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game.  That's what I said before. I
crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"


--------- End forwarded message ----------

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