PAGANISM		If Shit Happens, Worship it!
TAOISM			Shit Happens
CONFUCIANISM            Confucius Say, "Shit Happens"
BUDDHISM                If Shit Happens, it Really Isn't Shit
ZEN BUDDHISM		What is the sound of Shit Happening?
HINDUISM                This Shit Happened Before!
ISLAM                   If Shit Happens, It is the Will of Allah.
PROTESTANTISM           Let Shit Happen to Somebody Else.
CATHOLICISM             If Shit Happens, You Deserve It.
JUDAISM                 Why does Shit always happen to US?
CALVINISM               Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
UNITARIAN-UNIVERSALISM	All of us must find our own places to shit.
HEDONISM                There's nothing like a good shit happening.
MORMONISM               This shit is going to happen.
HARE KRISHNA            Shit happens, rama, rama.
RASTAFARIANISM          Let's smoke this shit.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE       Shit is only in your mind.
EXISTENTIALISM          What is shit, anyway?
AGNOSTISM               What is this shit?
ATHEISM                 I don't believe this shit.
JEHOVAHS WITNESSES      Good Morning, I have some shit for you to read.
BUDDHISM                Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit 
			will have salvation.
CREATIONISM             ... And the Lord said "Let there be shit" ... and 
			there came piles of it. After six days of this shit, 
			He rested.
SECULAR HUMANISM        Shit evolves.
DESCARTES-ISM           I think, therefore I shit
MATERIALISM             Whoever dies with the most shit wins.


From daemon Wed Oct 27 19:26:22 1993
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Scientology: Only we understand shit, and for a fee, we'll measure yours.