--- This story was written by Andrew Solberg, all rights reserved, copyright 1993. Andrew: Hi. Dema: Hi. Whatcha got there. Andrew: It's a persimmon. Dema: A persimmon. Andrew: Yes. Dema: What, pray tell, are you doing, standing there with a persimmon in your hand and a stupid grin on your face? Andrew: I'm preparing to do some interviews. Dema: Interviews. Andrew: Yes, interviews. Concerning persimmons. Dema: Why? Andrew: I don't know. I'm hoping I'll be able to write an article about what happens. Dema: Why would anybody want to read about persimmons? Andrew: I'm damned if I know. - * - Andrew: Hi. Waiting for the bus? Girl #1: Uh, yeah. Girl #2: Hi. Andrew: Hi. Look, I'm writing an article and doing some interviews. Mind if I ask you some questions? Girl #2: No. Are we going to be in the papers? Andrew: No. Girl #1: Is that a dictaphone? Andrew: Yes. Now -- do you recognize this? Girl #2: Is it fruit? Like, a mango or something? Andrew: You're close. Girl #1: It looks kind of like a tomato. Girl #2: Oh, gross, it's mushy. Andrew: It's a persimmon. Girl #1: Oh. Girl #2: A what? Girl #1: It's a persimmon. Girl #2: Oh. So, what do you want to know? Andrew: Well, I was kind of hoping for the girl-on-the-street, gut-level response to persimmons. Girl #2: It's definitely mushy. Girl #1: Can we taste it or something? Andrew: No. Girl #1: What?! Girl #2: That's stupid. Why not? Andrew: It's the only one I've got. - * - Andrew: Could you please state your name? Earl: Earl ********. Andrew: And what is your profession, please? Earl: I design hydraulic systems for the fire protection industry. Andrew: How long have you been in the business? Earl: Thirty-seven years. Andrew: Thirty-seven years ?! Earl: Yeah. Thirty-eight in October. Andrew: That's a long time to be working at anything. Earl: Started right out of school. Andrew: Thinking about retiring? Earl: (laughs) Always thinking about it. Andrew: Earl, I'd like to ask you a specific fire protection question, and I'd like you to give me some suggestions, if you don't mind too much. Earl: Okay. Andrew: Earl, I'd like you to imagine that this object is highly flammable and terribly valuable. I need to protect it from fire. How do I go about it? Earl: What is this thing? Andrew: It's a persimmon. Earl: Like, the fruit? Andrew: Yes. Earl: This is really weird. Andrew: I know, I know. That's the question, though. Earl: Well.....it's pretty wet. It can't be in all that much danger of burning down. Andrew: So you would define this as a light hazard occupancy fruit? Earl: Oh, come off it..... Andrew: No, no, stay with me here. Okay, supposing I wanted to cover this persimmon with water from a standard nozzle. How would I space the sprinklers to maximize protection? Earl: This is ridiculous. One nozzle would cover the whole thing. Andrew: Okay, suppose this persimmon is thirty feet tall and filled to the brim with flammable and hazardous liquids. How would you protect it? Earl: Um, well I suppose I'd spray it like any other petroleum vessel..... Andrew: Good.....good..... Earl: I'd probably run eight lines down the sides, spaced equally of course, delivering water to six nozzles per line. Andrew: How would you hang the pipe? Earl: We'd have to build a free-standing pipe stand. Andrew: Yeah? Why? Earl: Ever try to tack-weld fruit? - * - Andrew: Hello, I need to speak with somebody about fruit prices. Operator: Hold, please. Andrew: Thanks. ................... Gary: Gary *******..... Andrew: Hi, Gary. I have some questions about fruit prices and supply; can you help me? Gary: I'll certainly try. Andrew: Great! Oh, by the way, this is for an article I'm writing; do you mind if I tape this conversation? Gary: .....nnnnnnno..... Andrew: That's great. Now, Gary, I'm particularly interested in persimmon information. Does your company move any persimmons? Gary: Yes we do, but they're in low demand. Andrew: Why is that? Gary: Hot climate. Persimmons are pulpy and go bad quickly. They're also not in season for very long. Andrew: Which stores do you sell to? Gary: Our best customers are the Fiesta chain of supermarkets. They're the only people who buy them very much any more. Andrew: I guess persimmons must be kind of expensive, then. Gary: It's not cheap. I mean, supply and demand, you know. Andrew: Sure. So, how much do you sell persimmons for these days? Gary: Well, we only sell at bulk rate. Andrew: Right, so can you tell me what that is? Gary: About forty dollars per pallet. Andrew: How much fruit is that? Gary: Roughly eighty to one hundred pounds. Andrew: Jesus! That's a lot lower than the sale price. Gary: (laughs) Yeah, those middlemen will screw you if you let them. Andrew: I mean, they were selling persimmons for, like, a buck-fifty a pound, and here you're telling me they get if for a third of that? Gary: Hey, those big markets need a big margin to operate. Andrew: Well, if you don't mind my asking, what kind of mark-up do you add to the buying price from your growers? Gary: Well, it's not too big. It's not a 200% mark-up. Andrew: Sure. Sure. Gary, do you earn a commission? Gary: I'm sorry? Andrew: Do you earn a commission for selling fruit? Such as persimmons? Gary: Yes. Yes I do. Andrew: How much? Gary: I'd rather not say. - * - Andrew: Hi, Bud. We spoke on the phone. Bud: Hi. This is Jim *******, our foreman. Jim: Hi. Andrew: Hi. Can we speak in your office? Bud: Sure. ............... Andrew: Now, correct me if I'm wrong here. I need a prototype for a product that we're thinking about marketing, and I want a plastic model for display purposes. Can your plant do that? Bud: Probably. What kind of object are we talking about? Andrew: Well, it's easier just to show you. I'm looking for a heavy-duty, impact-resistant carrying case for a fragile object. It should be easily portable, and should fit below the seat of an airplane. Jim: Injection molding. Bud: We can probably do that. Andrew: Now, what I need, though, is for it to be constructed so as to accommodate an object of this approximate shape, size and consistency...... Bud: Oh, I see...... Andrew: Yes. Now, I don't want you to think that I need a carrying case to actually carry around a persimmon, ha ha.... Bud+Jim: Ha Ha! Andrew: Ha. No, but that's the best way to design it. Assume that I need a special case to ship really delicate, expensive persimmons. Jim: What are you really carrying? Andrew: I'm afraid I can't tell you that. Jim: Is it, like, organs or something? Andrew: I'm sorry. Bud: Well, like Jim said, we can probably produce something using Keflek. It's sturdy, it's fairly cheap..... Jim: We can use injection molding, which will keep costs down. Bud: Now, were you thinking about a briefcase-type design? Andrew: Yes. This needs to be something that works -- that is the most important point to this whole thing, guys -- but it also needs to be professional-looking. Bud: We can manage that. Jim: We can use some laminate struts to cushion shock. Andrew: How about foam packing? Bud: It won't hold the form very well. Jim: I think we have some Poly-210 stock left. Bud: Given any thought to color? - * - Andrew: Hi. Dr. Ishida: Hello. What's the problem today? Andrew: Well....I have a kind of embarrassing question. Dr. Ishida: Okay. Andrew: My wife and I are just starting to use birth control, and we're experimenting with condoms. I guess I just need a little advice. Dr. Ishida: That's okay. What exactly do you want to know? Andrew: Um, well, I've never used one before...... Dr. Ishida: I see. Andrew: I was kind of hoping you could demonstrate, you know, proper condom use...... Dr. Ishida: Yes. Andrew: .....on this persimmon. Dr. Ishida: What? Andrew: Could you show me.... Dr. Ishida: Get out of this office.