Subject: The Universal Language of the World ... 

... is Bad English

(Taken from the Boston Broadside)

There are some signs and notices written in English discovered throughout
the world:

In a Tokyo hotel
	Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person
	to do such this is please not to read notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby
	The lift is being fixed for the next day.  During that time we
	regret  that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator
	Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel ekevatir
	To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor.  If the cabin
	should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing
	floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor's shop
	Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's
	Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop
	Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor's shop
	Order your summers suit.  Because is big rush we will execute 
	customers in strict rotation.

From The Soviet Weekly
	There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15000 Soviet Republic
	painters and sculptors.  These were executed over the past two
	years.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest
	It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that
	people of different sex, for instance, men and woman, live together
	in one tent unless they are married with each other for that
	purpose.

In a Zurich hotel
	Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite
	sex in the bedroom, it is requested that the lobby be used for this
	purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist
	Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry
	Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a
	good time.