WEIRDNUZ.333 (News of the Weird, June 24, 1994) by Chuck Shepherd Lead Story * In June, the Phoenix, Ariz., New Times published an unidentified man's detailed list of pros and cons about his two girlfriends, Brenda and Dominique, that had been accidentally discarded in a magazine pocket on an Air Reno flight and which the newspaper obtained. Despite Brenda's "Wealthy" and "Nice Cars" versus Dominique's "Chipping teeth" and "Cuts me down," Dominique appeared to have the upper hand on list, which was scrawled out on bookkeeping ledger sheets. Dominique had 18 pros and 11 cons, versus Brenda's 15 and 22, respectively, and "I love her" appeared #3 under Dominique but only #15 under Brenda. Besides, Brenda's #9 con is "She's Married." ("Brenda" and "Dominique" are pseudonyms supplied by New Times.) [New Times, 6-1-94] The Democratic Process * In Eddyville, Ky., in May, the sample ballot required by law to be printed in the daily newspapers before the election showed one line already filled in--an "X" next to the name of J. R. Gray, one of five candidates for a state House seat. J. R. Gray is the cousin of David Gray, the county clerk, who told a reporter, "How it happened would be just pure speculation." David Gray agreed to pay for a second printing without the "X." [Louisville Courier-Journal, 5-24-94] * Among recent voter decisions: Friendsville, Md., mayor Spencer Schlosnagle was returned to office in February though he had been convicted a week before of indecent exposure and had four other such charges pending. Hialeah, Fla., voters elected Raul Martinez in November, though he was awaiting sentencing on federal extortion charges. In 1971, Hialeah also voted in as mayor a recently-convicted felon. And Baldwin, Ga., voters returned ex-mayor Tommy Lee Barrett to office in November; in a 1991 plea bargain to theft and forgery charges, he was forced to resign and to promise never to run for mayor again. [Baltimore Sun, 4-10-94] [USA Today, 11-11-93] [Greenville, S. C., News-AP, 11- 7-93] * Recent candidates for office included: Leslie Elaine Perez, 56, the leading vote-getter in the March primary to head the Texas Democratic Party organization in Houston, is a convicted murderer whose death penalty was stayed at the last minute in 1963 and who ultimately was paroled in 1971. (Perez is the former Leslie Douglas Ashley, having switched genders shortly after being released.) And ex-state Sen. George Hohman, 61, who still owes $9,000 of the $20,000 fine he was assessed on a 1981 bribery conviction, said he was running again for the Alaska senate because it was the only way he knew to get enough money to pay off the fine. [Washington Times-AP, 4-10-94] [USA Today, 3-11- 94, 5-25-94] * Among the losing candidates in November in the Raleigh, N. C., mayor's race was an African-American, the former Cecil McGirt, 45, who changed his name in 1981 to Doctor O. B. Aal-Anubiaimhotepokorohamz. That is a shortened form of the much longer name he chose after extensively researching his family history, a project he undertook after he realized he was foolish to believe he was Irish. His wife and each of their six children also have the first name Doctor, as a message of support for educational achievement. [Raleigh News & Observer, 8-6-93] * In May, a surveillance camera revealed Florida state Rep. Carlos Valdes as the man scribbling on the walls of a condominium complex in Miami with a black marker, and who is suspected of being the one responsible for several other episodes of graffiti vandalism. Said Valdes, "I can only characterize my actions as embarrassing and unacceptable." [St. Petersburg Times- AP, 5-26-94] * Brazil endured a scandal in February over the appearance of a topless model (who had donned a short minidress for the occasion) in the president's box along a parade route during the country's annual Carnival. President Itamar Franco, 63, held hands with Lilian Ramos, 27, occasionally kissed her, and, according to a surreptitious audiotape made in the box, asked her out on a date. Photos of the couple showed clearly that Ramos, frequently raising her arms to wave to the parade, was not wearing underpants. Responding to the subsequent criticism, Franco told reporters, "How am I supposed to know if people are wearing underwear?" [New York Times, 2-27-94] Cliches Come to Life * On May 23 shortly after 2 p.m. in Pomona, Calif., Tamika Johnson, 19, was issued a jaywalking ticket for making a dangerous street crossing in front of a county building. Minutes later, after the officer left, Johnson tried the crossing again, was hit by a car, and suffered a broken leg. [Inland Valley Daily Bulletin, 5-24-94] * Alfred, Maine, police chief Richard Griffin agreed in May to pay a $250 fine and restitution to settle charges that he punched Louis DeAngelis over who was next in line at a doughnut shop. [USA Today, 5-13-94] * In April in New Orleans, a fleeing bank robber fired several shots at a police officer but hit a nearby 38- year-old nun from the Sisters Servants of Mary Convent. The nun's wound was slight because the bullet first passed through the prayer book she was carrying. [Boston Globe, 4-24-94] * Christopher Swihart, 20, was arrested in Berkeley, Calif., in August, after breaking into a house and taking a suitcase. Swihart told police he didn't know where he was, that he thought the suitcase was his, and that the last thing he remembered doing was attending a Grateful Dead concert the night before. [Daily Californian, 9-1-93] * Raleigh, N. C., bankruptcy lawyer Mark Kirby was indicted on federal fraud charges in December. According to a prosecutor, while Kirby was working for the Brown, Kirby & Bunch law firm in 1990 and 1991, he billed clients an average of nearly 1,200 hours a month--from a low of 851 hours to a high of 1,547. (A 31-day month has only 744 hours.) [[American Lawyer, Apr94]] Most Dysfunctional Family * In December, in Oxnard, Calif., Dale Chester, 22, was sentenced to three years in prison for raping the pregnant girlfriend of his brother Ruben. Dale's brothers Leonard, 32, and Samuel, 29, are serving long prison terms for the violent rapes of five women in separate incidents, and Ruben, 24, is serving time for robbery and assault. Their father is a local pastor and their mother a Christian missionary, and police and prosecutors say there is no evidence of the childhood abuse that typically portends such adult violence. [San Francisco Examiner-Los Angeles Daily News, 12-26-93] Copyright 1994, Universal Press Syndicate. All rights reserved. Released for the personal use of readers. No commercial use may be made of the material or of the name News of the Weird.